NAME: Mercy. AGE: 24 Pansexual.
Wanna know something?
Hannibal Lecter: *frames Jack Crawford*
Jack Crawford: *arrests self*
Jack Crawford: How could I have missed it…
my paycheck next week is going to be my saving grace
My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”
I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
OUR TEACHER MADE US READ THIS OUT LOUD IN CLASS AND I DIED
I still can’t say anemone
I only stuttered like twice and I’m stupidly proud.
"Girl Scouts promote lesbianism and abortion!"
Yes why do you think I bought 15 boxes of thin mints.